Celebrating the Holiday!!!

Christmas has come and what a wonderful time to celebrate family and friends. What a wonderful time to celebrate the birth of Jesus as well! There has been a great deal of discussion and prayer around "Sunshine". My whole family is excited about her eventual arrival and this Christmas has shown that the anticipation is high. We realize that the holidays without her are quickly disappearing. She received her first Christmas present from Mom-Mom and Pop-Pop, a heart bracelet that reads Sunshine on the front and LYF (Love You Forever) on the back. She also received her first Christmas letter from Pop-Pop (tear). This is a Ruiz Christmas tradition where Mom and Dad write love letters to all of the children and grandchildren providing encouragement and speaking directly to how special each one is.

It has been over a month and a half since my last post. I apologize for taking so long to update the blog and our progress. Some of the best news that we have to share is that our Dossier was completed last week and sent to Albania on Friday, December 21, 2007. This is great news because it means that all of the paperwork that we have been working on for the past several months has now been validated and approved by our agency. Bethany Christian Services is very thorough with the paperwork and makes sure that everything is done by the book. Albania has never declined an adoptive family or requested more paperwork in the past once they are approved by Bethany.

So with the new year comes the waiting. Even though we are confident in the Lord's timing, it doesn't lessen the truth in what a wise poet once said:

The waiting is the hardest part
Every day you see one more card
You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
The waiting is the hardest part

Home Study is Complete

Finally . . . the Home Study is completed. Deb and I started reviewing what will be sent to the INS next wee. For those of you interested, the Home Study is the document that describes everything about Deb and I and our family. It is a comprehensive document that will be used to petition the INS for us to be authorized to bring a child into the country.

So what is the next step you may ask . . . We have now begun the Dossier. This is a set of documents that will be sent to Albania to petition them for consideration of an adoption referral. The Dossier includes much of the information from the Home Study, but it also includes all of the official documents (birth certificates, marraige license, copy of the deed to our house, notorized police and medical records, etc.). All of these documents need to be not only notorized, but also Apastilled . . . I know, I've never heard of that either. Apastill (app-a-steel) basically means that we have to take the document to the Secretary of State in the state that the document was issued and have them authenticate it with the state seal. So this means that we will need to visit Annapolis for the Maryland documents and Harrisburg for Pennsylvania. The others will be done by mail. Needless to say, this is a huge undertaking and Deb has been working hard at completing these activities.

We feel so grateful and blessed that God is moving this process along. It is going to be a long wait ahead, but we have faith in who God has for our family. As we draw closer to our waiting period, please continue to pray for us and for Sunshine.

The Kindness of Others

First let me thank everyone who has been praying for Deb and I as we move through this slow process. I know that things will move at breakneck speed during certain parts of this while slowing to a crawl at others. We are at a quickened pace as we move toward the end of September. Meetings have are scheduled with the Social Worker to finalize the homestudy and begin to create our Dossier. This Dossier will be sent to Albania in our request for a referral. It is also the time for the first of two payments to the agency. Once we are approved, we sit and wait for the country to let us know when they have referred a little girl to us and given us notice to travel.

So many people are kind enough to inquire about the process and how we are moving through. We have been blessed to begin meeting other families who have adopted and can encourage us along. My work colleagues, who I see very seldom, have all been showing interest in this adventure and providing support in many different ways. Even at the Public Library. Deb and I were requesting a travel book on Albania at the Resource Desk and the Librarian said, "Oh, my husband travels to Albania all the time." Apparently, he works for a company that destroys chemical weapons and they have been working in the country for the past year. I asked if she wouldn't mind giving him our email and if he could tell us anything about the country. He sent an email about 3 hours later with pictures and lots of great information/advise . . . what a blessing! I have no doubt that something special is happening.

Through the kindness of others we have begun preparing for our daughter to come home. Here are some ways that you can help if what we are doing moves you:

1. Continue to pray for our family - This is obviously the most important thing you can do to help our situation. We believe in the power of prayer and that God is moving in this effort and willing to help us as we call on Him. The boys have been so excited about Sunshine coming home. Every time they see a Barbie Doll or other girl toy, they talk about getting it for their sister. We are continuing to work on the house; to have it in the best shape possible for her homecoming.
   
2. Donate points or Frequent Flyer miles - recently one of my co-workers was kind enough to offer to pay for one of our international flight tickets using his credit card points (tix cost $1200/rt). He wants to be involved in what we are doing, has the points and is willing to help. We are looking to collect points/Frequent Flyer miles for Northwest Airlines or Sky Team. They have a couple of partner airlines that fly to Albania. I will have enough for one more ticket using my miles and points. We will need 3 more round trip and 1 One Way ticket.


3. Donate money - Many thanks to those of you who have already given, but we are in need of raising more funds. We would like to continue the process without too many further financial sacrifices. Again, this is an area where we are confident that God will provide for all of our needs.

If you feel led to be a part in this area, please don't hesitate to email me for details. We are well on the way to making this thing happen and we're so excited.

Moving, but slowly

Hi Folks,

I'm sorry it has taken so long to update you on our progress. It has been over a month since the last post. Things are moving along, but slowly. We are beginning this weekend to work on the final steps before our Social Worker interviews. We have online studies that are required and hope to get those out of the way over the next couple of weeks.

There is not much else to report. Deb and I had a great 10th Anniversary trip with just the two of us. We went to Key West, FL for a long weekend. We did the typical: Sloppy Joe's, Margaritaville, Hemingway House, Mel Fisher's Treasure Museum (very cool sunken treasure that this guy found in the Carribean). We also had the opportunity to just spend time with each other.

Being in God's Will

I have been so encouraged (smile, smile) by the sermons that I have heard in the last several weeks. I'd like to tell you about a few of them. Our pastor at Mountain just finished a series call "Born to be Wild". This was about getting out of our "safe" lives and really going after His will. That we were never meant to live this way but to really hear the "call of the wild" and be radical for Him. We then went to Ocean City and to Aunt Beth's church. The pastor there spoke of God's blessing for those who reach out beyond their comfort zone to walk in His will. When we returned home another pastor at Mountain spoke of trusting God and if He calls you to move for Him he will always provide...always. If God is for us who can be against us?

So with all of these messages I delight that for the first time in my life I feel really in line with God's mission. Perhaps I was born for this very purpose...to find her.

Alex announced at dinner the other night that he had named his little sister. We'll even consider his selection. So cute!!

Thank you to everyone who have left comments for Ray and I. It is nice to see and very encouraging. Please keep posting your comments to our thoughts.

waiting for you,
mommy

Some light summer reading . . .

One of the tasks on the "to do" list is to read the book Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craft by Mary Hopkins Best. So with 4 days on the beach and the boys playing in the sand beside me, I began to read. This book is an excellent reference for anyone considering adopting a toddler or any family or friends that would be helping to support a couple in this process. Infant adoption is treated as a separate type of adoption since most of the attachment problems are typically minimized. Toddlers have a harder time since they typically have multiple disruptions in their caregivers through a short time of life.

Best spends much of the first couple chapters in challenging the adopters to consider the difficulty of adopting a child in the Toddler stage. Many people who adopt a toddler do so out of necessity. Maybe the wait is too long for infants or when the child is referred they are an infant, but by the time the process concludes they are in the toddler stage. She states that couples who choose to adopt a toddler and do so with all the facts are typically the more successful in dealing with the many issues associated. I couldn't agree more . . . Deb and I have said from the beginning that we were interested in a toddler as opposed to an infant. Best's book has made me clearly rethink and reaffirm our decision. There are several factors that I had not considered, but as I read I am not dissuaded. I believe this is what God called us to and find that this book only gives us the preparation that we need.

Another thing that has been confirmed as I am reading is that I have not set forth expectations of what Sunshine will be like (physical apperance, personality, likes and dislikes, etc). I am trying to keep and open mind about all of this. Best states that many of the families who have the most difficult experiences are the ones who have envisioned what their child will be like and when they don't meet those expectations, dissapointment and frustrations sets in. I find it discouraging that families who are so open to bringing another family member into their home would have the notion that they would want the child to be anything other that who they are. As parents it is our job to mold children and set forth values and discipline, but not to force them to be who we want them to be. God has a plan for our children. He made them the way they are with different personalities and skill sets. As parents we should be drawing out the best in them, giving them the opportunity to experience things in life and setting them forth to do great things.
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Prayer Request: Please pray that God will continue to give Deb and I clarity and an open heart to whoever Sunshine will be. Also, that as we deal with problems she may have (physical, emotional, etc) God will give us the strength and the resources necessary to help her achieve her potential. Also, please pray that we will continue to raise the funds needed to make this happen.

Thanks again for reading and for praying for us and along with us.

Hot, hot, hot

The dog days of summer seem to be here early in 2007. Maybe it just feels that way because the air conditioner is broken down. This is the second year in a row that something has happened to it. I'm hoping it won't be expensive to fix. As you can imagine, we are already working hard to save money for Sunshine, I'm praying that these repairs won't cut too deep into that. The technician will be coming tomorrow, but tonight . . . we sweat. :)

First Inspections

It has been a long 3 weeks since I last posted. Things got pretty crazy as we packed up the boys and headed out to Montana for Indian Youth Camp. It was a great week at camp. It was one of those years that shows you how much more God can stretch you. IYC had the most campers that we've ever had (283). With limited staff, this did create some issues with running the camp. But, as always, God had His way and made a wonderful week for the staff and for the campers. I'm excited for what is happening with IYC and grateful that God continues to use me as part of the team that makes it all happen.

Unfortunately, Deb had to leave camp early due to the death of her Grandmother. She was killed in an automobile accident. Deb left on Wednesday to make a Thursday funeral (she traveled all day and didn't get into Clarksburg, WV until 4:00 am and had to be up for an 11:00 am funeral). All is well now and she enjoyed spending a few days with family that is scattered across the Eastern seaboard.

So . . . today we had our first inspection. Harford County, Maryland sent Mr. Driscoll to look over the house. Aside from a few minor suggestions, all went well. We passed! Now we need to have the Fire Marshall come in. We have started working on our Fire Evacuation Plan with Justin and Alex. They don't quite get it yet or why we need to practice, but we will continue to explain it to them. We are trying to move things along with the process as quicly as we can, but it feels like its not moving at all. I know that it all takes time, but God is still working on my patience. I realize that once this phase is complete, we will be waiting even longer and life will begin to roll quickly, but since this part is in our control I want it to move faster. Oh well, we can only do what we can do.
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Prayer Request: Please pray for Deb's mother as she mourns the loss of her mother and recovers from the same accident (she was in the car too). Please continue to pray for Sunshine. We know that she is eagerly awaiting her new home and we just pray that God will prepare her for life in the Ruiz family. :) Please continue to pray for all of the logistics (time, money, preparation, etc).

Indian Youth Camp

Hi Folks,

Sorry that it has taken a few weeks to get back on the blog. We are still working on the paperwork and inspections necessary to move our Home Study forward. We have both done our physical examinations and have received our Birth Certificates, Marriage Certificates, Driving Records and Medical Clearances. The dog and cat have been to the vet for shots and we are setting up the house for the Home Inspection by the County Health Department.

Friday, we are all flying out to Montana for Indian Youth Camp. This will be my 15th year with IYC. Time goes by so fast. Justin and Alex love it there, I'm sure that our little girl will too. My nephew, Paul, will be joining us this year. This will be his first time away from home and his first flying experience. Pray for him!
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Prayer Requests: We aske that you will continue to pray that she is doing well as she awaits our arrival and that God will keep watch and protect her. Pray for my mother (Pat) - we invited her to travel with us to Albania. This is a huge deal since she hates to fly. When we did not get immediately shut down, I knew she wanted to, but would not enjoy the task of getting there.

*** We have set up a savings account to help offset some costs. Thank you to Mom Mom for donating to the Sunshine Fund. :) It all helps. If anyone else wants to help, please feel free to email me for the address.

Open Doors

"Get involved in what God is doing—because it’s already blessed." - Bono, Feb 2, 2006

In my life, I've learned that things are happening all around us. As we make our way through life there are daily events, mundane routine things that we are involved in and don't even think about . . . there are also major events, moving the hearts of the masses here and there. I have gotten involved in things like politics, business, even church and ministry. What I have learned is that our friend Bono is dead on when he says we have to get involved with what God is doing, no matter whether it is the mundane or the major. Instead of seeking the blessing on what I want to do, I need to find out what God is doing and get involved there. This is often the hard part, because it messes with our plans and goals. This is the road God has called us to. His word says that we are to take care of the "widows and orphans" (James 1:27/Ps 82:3/Ps 68:5-6). While this will not always be an easy road, it is where God is moving and we want to be involved.

So what does all of this have to do with the updates in our story? We are seeing God's hand at work as we go through the initial phases of our paperwork, as we work on the finances, and as we deal with people in the process. Now . . . we still have quite a long road ahead of us, but things are progressing. We have sent for all of the birth and marraige records (3 copies each). We will be getting the dog her shots and vaccination updates. Passport photos are in hand, we have secured a good chunk of the financing that we will need through an interest only loan. This is a great win for us in that we anticipate recieving reimbursements from the IRS (tax credit) and both of our employers that will equal $18,000. This will leave us to raise approximately $10,000 more to cover all costs. If anyone is interested in donating for this cause, I am working on the procedures for this (thanks in advance for even considering helping with this).

Mother's day was nice. We spent the day at my mother's house with all of the neices and nephews. Now that we have started this process, I can see that there is someone missing from this group. I can't wait to see her playing with all of the kids.

Check back in a week or so . . . I'm hoping to have a new family picture up.

Mommy's thoughts

It is great to feel like we are finally making some progress with a dream that I have had on my heart since I was a teenager. It has been a whole year since we lost our little person and it has been hard. But, God has been faithful and He is on the road to completing our family with a very special, very wanted little daughter (we'll nickname her "Sunshine", thanks to Mom-Mom). I have a lot of paperwork to do and it seems daunting (we're done with the fingerprinting!!, step 1 of 200). The wait time for her once we have completed everything is very, very long, too, too long but I will be patient (or at least try....maybe). We are drawn to Albania for some reason (Mother Theresa's home country...one of my favorite people ever) but we're still looking at Russia and the Ukraine. We will watch the different countries' stability and continue to pray as we go through our home study. I feel at peace to wherever He leads us.

So, my love, wherever you are...we wait for you to come to us. We're finally on the path to you. Godspeed... mommy

The ball is rolling . . .

Yesterday, at 9:03 am (so we were 3 minutes late) we arrived at Bethany Christian Services (BCS) to meet with Debra for our first meeting. We talked for about an hour about adoption, why we wanted to adopt, how we came to this decision, what our family thought of the decision. After this time, Deb and I were confident that not only was this what we wanted to do, but that this was what God called us to do. For the next two hours we discussed different countries and began the paperwork for our home study. We talked about Russia . . . we talked about Ukraine . . . and we talked about Albania. We talked about the age of the child, whether we wanted a boy or a girl, healthy or special needs. We even discussed domestic adoptions. But most of all we talked about countries.

In the end, a firm decision was not made, but we are leaning heavily toward Albania. This is a country in which BCS has a very strong program. They have a 3 building compound and a great relationship with the authorities. The main drawback with Albania is time. From the time we submit our dossier (could be 4 - 6 months from now) it could take up to 2+ years to get a referral from the country. This long of a wait will be painful for Deb, but the amount of information and the level of service we will be able to get from BCS should outweigh the length of time. I believe this will give us the time to research Albania, set up resources for when she arrives and be ready with all of our ducks in a row for our traveling adventure.

We started the paperwork. There was a ton of paperwork . . . Debra gave Deb and I homework. There were about 20 different things that need to be done from Birth and Marriage certificates to animal shot records. We have to get the house in shape for inspection, we have to put our financial records together (yep, they look at that too), and we have to set up physicals/bloodwork. So much to do.
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Prayer Request - Please pray that God will continue to lead us to the right adoption program and that He will protect her as she goes through her orphanage care. Please also continue to pray for provision during this time and that God will give me wisdom to use our current resources and to prepare for what lies ahead.

May begins

Well, it's May 1 and we are still anxiously awaiting our meeting with Bethany Christian Services to get the ball rolling. Deb and I have been diligently working on the budgets and funding options. More research needs to be done, but we are finding that many of the grant options are not available to us due to our income level. Every time we run into a roadblock, it just reminds me that we are doing something significant for another person, a child of God who is in need. If this is what God has called us to, He will prepare the way and make it happen.

I sent an email last week letting family and friends know about our upcoming plans and asking for prayers. I have received a good deal of responses from everyone excited about our plans. Please know that we covet your prayers and appreciate the encouragement. Even at work, my boss let me know that she and others would be willing to donate vacation time to help with any time off needs. This is a tremendous encouragement to me. I know how hard it is to make all of this happen and to be supported at work with such a thing is fantastic.

I'm still trying to get Deb to post her first entry. She has so much to contribute to this discussion. Her enthusiasm for this endeavor far exceeds mine.

Justin and Alex are very excited to meet their sister. The have already begun making plans for who will sit where in the van. They talk about her at dinner and ask about where they can set up her room. It's very cute.
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Prayer Request - Please continue to pray that God will reveal his plan to us and that he will work out the finances. We are in need of planning for the cost of the adoption as well as the change in the budgets when the child is with us.

The Challenges Begin . . .

Yesterday was a rough day. We applied for a line of credit through Bank of America and were turned down. We have had a rough history with BOA in the past and they weren't willing to work with us right now. I was kind of counting on this as it would have provided a bulk of the funding that we need and it was a line of credit, so we could take as we need.

With the dissapointment in mind, I know that God is still working on getting this done for us. After I spoke with the bank, I got in touch with our Credit Union. I was able to take a Deed of Trust loan with them. This is less money and a conventional loan, but it is about half of the money we need. Again, Deb and I are confident that God is moving here and will provide the balance of what we need to bring our girl home.
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So . . . we have our first official meeting with Bethany Christian Services set up for Monday, May 7. This will be the official start! We are very excited about what this means. The ball should be rolling pretty quickly on our end after the 7th. We will be starting the home study, finger prints, financial records, etc. This will be a busy time.
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Prayer Request: Please pray that God will continue to guide us to the right country/program, that He will provide the money necessary to complete the process, and that He will give our family patience and wisdom throughout the process.

Here we go . . .

Welcome to our blog. Deb and I will be posting our thoughts, prayers and experiences as we move through the ups and downs of the adoption of our little girl. God has been so good to us by giving us Justin and Alex, two wonderful, active little boys. They are very excited about the possibility of having a sister to add to the bunch.

Now . . . it is early in the game and we are just beginning, but our family has agreed that God is calling us to complete the family through Adoption. We are excited . . . really excited about the next 2 years and what they will be. There are so many questions . . .

1. How will God provide the money for all the fees associated with the adoption?
2. Where is she? (Russia, Ukraine, Kosovo, Albania, ???)
3. What will she become?

Deb and I met with the case worker at Bethany Christian Services last week. Her name is Debby and she is a very sweet lady, who seems to take a great deal of pride in her work. She also shows a great deal of ownership in each case that she works on. I think this will be the agency we use. Deb has requested a follow up meeting to get the ball rolling.

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Prayer - God please bless us as we start this proceding. Provide for us as we look for the finances, as we begin our home study and as we prepare for another child in this family. Bless our little girl wherever she is. Help her to grow strong and healthy and be ready for a loving family.