Some light summer reading . . .

One of the tasks on the "to do" list is to read the book Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craft by Mary Hopkins Best. So with 4 days on the beach and the boys playing in the sand beside me, I began to read. This book is an excellent reference for anyone considering adopting a toddler or any family or friends that would be helping to support a couple in this process. Infant adoption is treated as a separate type of adoption since most of the attachment problems are typically minimized. Toddlers have a harder time since they typically have multiple disruptions in their caregivers through a short time of life.

Best spends much of the first couple chapters in challenging the adopters to consider the difficulty of adopting a child in the Toddler stage. Many people who adopt a toddler do so out of necessity. Maybe the wait is too long for infants or when the child is referred they are an infant, but by the time the process concludes they are in the toddler stage. She states that couples who choose to adopt a toddler and do so with all the facts are typically the more successful in dealing with the many issues associated. I couldn't agree more . . . Deb and I have said from the beginning that we were interested in a toddler as opposed to an infant. Best's book has made me clearly rethink and reaffirm our decision. There are several factors that I had not considered, but as I read I am not dissuaded. I believe this is what God called us to and find that this book only gives us the preparation that we need.

Another thing that has been confirmed as I am reading is that I have not set forth expectations of what Sunshine will be like (physical apperance, personality, likes and dislikes, etc). I am trying to keep and open mind about all of this. Best states that many of the families who have the most difficult experiences are the ones who have envisioned what their child will be like and when they don't meet those expectations, dissapointment and frustrations sets in. I find it discouraging that families who are so open to bringing another family member into their home would have the notion that they would want the child to be anything other that who they are. As parents it is our job to mold children and set forth values and discipline, but not to force them to be who we want them to be. God has a plan for our children. He made them the way they are with different personalities and skill sets. As parents we should be drawing out the best in them, giving them the opportunity to experience things in life and setting them forth to do great things.
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Prayer Request: Please pray that God will continue to give Deb and I clarity and an open heart to whoever Sunshine will be. Also, that as we deal with problems she may have (physical, emotional, etc) God will give us the strength and the resources necessary to help her achieve her potential. Also, please pray that we will continue to raise the funds needed to make this happen.

Thanks again for reading and for praying for us and along with us.